Christian at Hogwarts, directors cut
by Serena S Snape
Summary: (UPDATE: CHAPTER TWO)the author and company of CaH enter the story to add their own flavor
1. Default Chapter

The Christian that Went to Hogwarts  
  
REVIEWER WARS  
  
Disclaimer: Severus Snape and Hogwarts aren't mine. the 'story' *if you could call it one* is.  
  
for anyone who hasn't read the Christian that went to Hogwarts series, go read it...but remember, IT'S A JOKE NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.   
  
on that note...  
  
(this story is dedicated to the wonderful Miss Katrina, who, in an amazing show of balls, decided to try and get a rise   
  
out of me by saying the Following:  
  
"This review is dedicated to words that ALL of your stories bring to mind: ick, crap, ugh, argh, shit, bad, dumb,  
  
stupid, pathetic, shit, lousy, retarded (that one can also double for you, too) short, waste, shit, sloppy, dreary,  
  
unhappy, sad, sympathy, trash, shit, garbage, idiotic, terrible, horrible, below standard, shit, negative, pessimistic,   
  
sucky, and oh, and did i say SHIT?"  
  
(SPG: Owch. Damn woman needs to be cursed...e.e;;;)  
  
No, my dear Fluffy Pagan Friend, we're going to do the next best thing. CORRECT HER. So, to Help us, Professor Severus Snape  
  
will join us for the moment to assist in this endevor.  
  
|Professor Severus Snape enters the Room, Sweeps up to his Desk, Robes billowing behind him dramatically. he seats himself   
  
rather forcefully, and looks sternly at his computer.|  
  
"Now. what exactly am i here for?" pressed the Potions Professor Irritatbly.  
  
"In a bad mood Professor Snape?" Cait asked Hopefully, as she, Serena, Jeni and Pamela all took to the tables.  
  
Instead of Replying, Severus curled his lip into a sneer.  
  
"Thats Good" Cait replied Cheerfully. "So, heres someone to take your Frustrations. miss Katrina, with her rambling of  
  
words."  
  
"Miss Katrina, Crap, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit and Shit are all the same things. I detest people repeating themselves, as though I am not competent enough to understand the first time." Snape began Forcefully.  
  
"Negative, Dreary, Pessimistic, bad unhappy, sad, sympathy and sucky are hardly words that would be used to describe this Fanfic." Severus Continued. "pointless and without a solid plot? yes. Negative? no."  
  
Enjoying the torment of the reviewer, a strangely evil looking grin spread across his face. "Ick, Ugh, Argh." he began. "why miss Katrina, i do believe your IQ has finally exceeded that of Mayonaise."  
  
(in the back ground Jeni is beating her head against the desk, Serena is doubled over laughing, Cait is pounding her fist on the table, and Pamela is crying from laughing so hard.)  
  
"if you are to witness the....Revision of miss Katrina's work, I must insist that you remain somewhat coherent and not laugh like a pack of Ruddy Hiena's." Severus shot at the four, which, said by anyone else, would have made them laugh harder. but as this was none other then Professor snape, all traces of humor vanished from the four girls Faces, and instead, the tears of laughter that had been streaming down Pamela's face now looked more like tears of fear.  
  
"bad, dumb, trash, garbage, idiotic" Severus continued, but then in an undertone: "Idiotic, i must say i agree with that one."  
  
"HEY!" Serena Squeaked, and the other three cracked up. "okay..well, yeah it is."  
  
Just then Ariana, Michelle, Sarah and Shane entered the Dungeons.  
  
"you aren't hogwarts students!" Sarah declared.  
  
"Good eye there Sherlock." Cait smirked.  
  
"Who are you?" Michelle Demanded, looking strangely at Jeni.  
  
"Author and Company." Serena replied simply.  
  
"Author? what do you mean, Author?" Ariana asked.  
  
"She means," Severus began loudly. "That our entire world is dependant on whatever sick fantasies people like her come up with. such as your torment here at Hogwarts."  
  
"But i like Hogwarts!" Ariana protested.  
  
"Only because she wrote that you do."  
  
"I...err...so...are you God?" Ariana looked strangely at Serena, who snorted and began laughing insanely.  
  
"By the Gods i hope not!" Cait shot back.  
  
"Sooooo." Pamela grinned, sliding out of her seat and guiding Ariana up to the Computer at which Severus Sat. "This is what a certian Girl thinks of the Story...your life."  
  
Ariana read it in silence, her face twisting in anger by the end.  
  
"MY LIFE IS NOT A WASTE!" She protested angerly. "Can i curse her, Professor?"  
  
"Miss Loophole?" Severus looked up at Jeni, eyebrow cocked.  
  
"I'm looking, I'm looking!" Jeni replied, flipping madly through the book of laws.  
  
"MMMM....miss loophole sounds like miss Lupin." Pamela cooed dreamily, then looked at Jeni angerly. "HOW DARE YOU GO BY MISS LUPIN!!!"  
  
Jeni looked up from the book, a look of fear and confusion covering her face. "huh?"  
  
--  
  
Okay, im Done Ranting, For Now.  
  
(SPG: THAT WAS FUN AS HELL!)  
  
yes, i have to agree.  
  
~cait: hehehe. we tormented the evil bitch from hell~  
  
yes, we did.  
  
(SPG: i feel strangely satisified.)  
  
So, what do you think everyone? did i do the review justice? i responded to her review in a very polite manner, i think, or at least, severus did, and didn't curse at her... 


	2. Insanity with Feeling

The Christian at Hogwarts  
  
Directors Cut   
  
Chapter Two: Insanity with Feeling  
  
Disclaimer: Kiss my Blue-Green German Fish...um...Fin...it's not mine  
  
(FPG:MORE MORE MORE!!!)  
  
of what?  
  
(FPG: Random Insanity. Complete and total random-ness.)  
  
~Cait: yesh~  
  
PLOT: simply? there isn't one. just a story embracing randomness, The author is writing whatever happens to pop into her head.  
  
(FPG: goddess, help us.)  
  
"Oh Se-----verus?" Serena called in a singsong voice  
  
*Snape looks down at the strange group of Hogwarts students, the Author and Company*  
  
"What do you want?" He growled.  
  
"ready for more Muggle Torture?" Serena smirked.  
  
"Always." severus allowed a small smirk to cross his face.  
  
Cait stood, and pointed towards the exit of the classroom. "To the Torture Chamber!"  
  
"errm...Cait...this is the torture chamber." Serena remarked.  
  
"Oh. okay." Cait hurridly sat back down.  
  
"You are Truly a Muggle." Severus hissed, his lip curled slightly as he spoke. "Surely you are not so narrow minded as to believe that I would need torture devices in which to torture another human being?"  
  
"I......." Cait trailed off, staring at snape with fear, while Jeni and Pamela snickered evilly.   
  
"She isn't accustomed to being around someone with such a...gift...for torture." Serena replied immediatly, worried that the muggle torture would turn towards cait.  
  
"Clearly." Severus returned. "Now. Who are we torturing...ah...i mean to say, Correcting today?"  
  
Serena closes her eyes and points randomly around the room. "HER!" (points to Broadwaypoetess RANDOMLY)  
  
"Whoa. When you said that little thing about Catholic priest reading HP in your introduction, I thought of this one Lithuanian (R. Catholic) priest I know from Camp that sings "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" whenever he gets slightly annoyed.  
  
*laughs* And nuns founded the Camp so we had to make cards for them because it was their Order's 85th Anniversary. And well, my happy Punky friend wrote "Nuns Kick Buns."   
  
But that's beside the point!  
  
(Freaky fic, a bit Mary Sueish, but still funny.)"  
  
"Severus?" Cait asked expectantly.  
  
"That's PROFESSOR SNAPE to you." Severus growled, and then added in an undertone: "Damn Muggles."  
  
"But...you let Serena call you Severus!" Cait Protested, standing to her feet. out of reflex, Serena and Jeni, on either side of Cait both reached up and pulled Cait back down into a seated position.  
  
"I Have Reasons for my decisions." Snape began very dangerously, in a voice barely above a whisper that Made Caits breath catch in her throat. "You will not question them."  
  
Cait stared up at Snape for a moment before finally leaning over and whispering to Serena.  
  
"He has a really Sexy voice."  
  
"Cait, he's old enough to be your grandpa." Serena replied.  
  
"but, he's not my Grandpa, and that's all that matters." Cait whispered.  
  
both Jeni and pamela gave automatic shudders, the mental images will not be defined.  
  
"Moving On." Severus began. "I believe i have a Review to Comment on?"  
  
"Yesh Professor Shnape...hehe..professhor Shnape." Cait giggled.  
  
"A Lithuanian Roman Catholic priest singing don't cry for me argentina. Fascinating." Severus began. "it is astounding the strange things that pop into our heads at the most inoppertune of times...." he suddenly looked directly at cait, who shrank back in her chair looking guilty.  
  
"You need to watch out." Serena heard Jeni explaining to Cait. "we think he can read minds"  
  
cait stared wide eyed at Jeni, jaw dropped.  
  
"Nuns Kick buns...." Severus continued. "Muggles astound me with their skating around what they really mean to say."  
  
"why is that?" Pamela asked loudly.  
  
"I personally say what I am thinking. I do not Coddel people. If I desire to say that someone is a God-damned-son-of-a-bitch-in-hell, i say such. I have no desire to dress up the words and call them mean, or not-nice." once again he looked at cait.  
  
"i don't like this guy...he's not very nice." Cait whispered to Serena.  
  
"And Finally, Miss Broadwaypoetess has stated that the Story is Mary Sue-ish" Severus finished, looking at the computer screen with an eyebrow cocked.  
  
"Professor, what's a 'Mary Sue'?" Ariana asked, she, Michelle, Shane and Sarah had been quiet until this point.  
  
"A Mary Sue, quite Simply, is a Perfect Individual. a Glorified version of the Author." Severus Explained  
  
Ariana looked at the Author, Serena, and furrowed her brow. "I look nothing like her."  
  
"And i Certianly don't want Freckles." Serena scowled. "Besides, you couldn't PAY me to be that age again."  
  
"whats' wrong with being 11?" Ariana stood to her feet, hands placed forcefully on the desk.  
  
"Everything!" Serena shot back. "you don't really have a sense of personality at 11...you just wander from fad to fad until you finally settle into one between 14-16."  
  
"i'm perfectly Normal!"  
  
"Yeah for all neo-gothic Hippy Christians that become evil witches serving voldemort and wanting to eat death..." Cait muttered.  
  
"by the gods, muggle, the term is DEATH EATERS!!!!" Severus took to his feet as well, looking sternly at Cait.  
  
"yeah, see? they eat death."  
  
shaking his head, severus sat back down and looked between serena, Jeni and Pamela. "and you choose to associate with this...muggle...why?"  
  
"Because she's just as good at scaring muggles as the rest of us." Serena Smirked.  
  
"I see." Severus cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"So, overall verdict for Broadwaypoetess?" Serena asked.  
  
"She views Ariana as being a Mary Sue due to the fact that when she looks at Ariana, she sees herself." Severus began. "a realitivly good girl with a hidden...or Not so hidden" he looked over at Ariana, who was idly drawing the dark mark on a piece of parchment. "Darker Personality. Perhaps she envies Ariana for the fact that Ariana was given this, oppertunity to come out of her shell."  
  
"riiiiight" Cait commented. "So, you don't know."  
  
to that, the Dungeons fell silent. Serena, Jeni and Pamela all fell silent and looked down at their table, while Sarah, Michelle, and Ariana stared at Cait. Shane was currently air Drumming to a song in his head.  
  
"Miss......." Severus trailed off.  
  
"Burford." Cait replied.  
  
"Miss Burford, Are you a Professor?"  
  
"No." Cait replied boldly.  
  
"Then kindly refrain from speaking." Severus stated very clearly and dangerously.  
  
the four eventually left the Potions classroom, and, walking down the hallways began to babble randomly.  
  
"So you see, The price of tea in China is mainly affected by the suicide rate of the African Ape." Cait began clearly and punctually.  
  
"But, the African Apes only commit suicide when they recieve news of the recent rise of unemployment within the English Rat Communities." Serena continued idly.  
  
"for being a muggle, that one's certianly....odd." Jeni whispered to Pamela, referring to Cait.  
  
"Hai." Pamela agreed.  
  
--  
  
~Cait: Snape's mean!~  
  
(FPG: quit being so nice. call him a fucking git like the rest of us.)  
  
I don't call him a (Censored) git.  
  
(FPG: i'm going to pretend that you didn't just censor YOURSELF.)  
  
why?  
  
(FPG: it's abnormal, unnatural, and just....strange.)  
  
Thanks. ^)^  
  
(FPG: that wasn't a compliment.)  
  
really?  
  
(FPG: nope.)  
  
anyhoo, second chapter done, broadwaypoetess, i wasn't necessarly picking on you, except for the mary sue comment...i really just wanted to pick on our little muggle friend, Cait.  
  
~Cait: bitch~  
  
(FPG: *applauds wildly* I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!!!)  
  
{NJG: was there any point to that chapter?}  
  
when are you going to learn: theres never a point?  
  
*Suddenly a dart shoots out of no where, and sticks in the cube wall. Instead of jumping, Serena simply looks at the dart in all it's dangerous glory.*  
  
Hi Shane  
  
*Shane responds by bowing slightly, holding the blowgun.*  
  
(FPG: FUCK! *dives under desk whimpering*)  
  
I've decided to make my muse a Chibi.  
  
(FPG: a Muse Chibi version of Snape? thats....different.)  
  
I think so too :-) just wait 'till you see him.  
  
~Cait: what's a Chibi?~  
  
(FPG: it's a style of Japanese art that makes people very....strange looking...disgustingly cute. *Hugs Chibi Nick*)  
  
Which, i found out, is Nick from BSB.  
  
~Cait: AHHHHHHH! you're one of those people?~  
  
(FPG: one of what people?)  
  
~Cait: those freaks that like...*shudders* i cannot speak the name, you-know-who~  
  
(FPG: were you dropped on your head as a child?) 


	3. EMBRACE TYPO'S

CHRISTIAN AT HOGWARTS  
  
DIRECTORS CUT  
  
CHAPTER THREE: EMBRACE TYPOS  
  
(disclaimer: if you recognize it, it probably isn't mine.)  
  
Diving right into our newest chapter, i feel i need to address a very interesting topic that seems to arise repeatidly in my reviews the dreaded Shift monster. that's right, My lack of grammer Skills which make it to where i Capitialize random words.  
  
First off, I would like to say that this habit came from when i was a child, learning Proper German Grammer, in which, you are to Capitalize so many different words, and so many others are to be lower case, that i admit, i gained the habit of radomly capitializing words, in hope that i would get the right one ;-)  
  
(once more, Severus, Cait, Serena, The Fluffy Pagan Girl, and her Chibi Muse Nick enter Snapes Office. the peanut gallery take their seats in a far corner as he takes to his desk. the three girls and almost-chickish muse are laughing about some random thought as they take their seats.)  
  
Severus glares at the group. "shall we Get Started, then?" he asked impatiently.  
  
Instantly the group fell silent, Chibi nick's lower lip quivered slightly in fear.  
  
"What, exactly, is that, Thing?" Severus asked, his lip curling slight at the sight of Nick.  
  
"Um, Profesor Snape, he's my Chibi Muse." Jeni, or FPG grabbed her 2ft tall muse and held him to her chest.  
  
"Chibi." Severus Spat the word, and then his voice went it's silkiest. "Perhaps you are not aware of the rules. there are to be no 'Pets' in my office, unless they are in a jar of formaldehyde"  
  
"He's not a Pet...." Jeni Protested. "Serena, call your muse off me!"  
  
but Serena was too busy trying her hardest not to laugh, which was currently in the form of her head, pressed to the dark wood table, her body trembling in silent laughter.  
  
"I think she's having a seizure." Cait noted, watching her friend shaking uncontrolably.  
  
"She's Fine." Severus replied, taking his eyes off the group and returning them to his computer screen. "Holy Hell and Damnation Serena, You do have an Obsession with Capitializing random words, don't you?"  
  
"Mmhmm" Serena mused, still fighting laughter.  
  
"I AM NOT A PET!" Nick Suddenly yelped at Serena, who exploded in laughter at the words.  
  
"SILENCE!" Severus roared, and the group fell silent again. "Now." he began again. "Yes, Reviewers, it is quite, painfully obvious that the Author has a strange obsession with hitting the Shift key."  
  
"IT'S THE SHIFT DEMON!" Serena suddenly shrieked, raising her head, and fighting her hardest not to break the serious look that covered her face. "I'm posessed by the shift demon!"  
  
"Serena, that is enough." Severus narrowed his eyes at the Author and gave her a chillingly stern look.  
  
"Woah....It's amazing how his glare has the same effect as a cops..." Cait commented, her eyes wide and jaw dropped.  
  
"Don't look at me like that!" Serena shreiked and dove under the desk.  
  
"AND I REPEAT MYSELF." Severus bellowed.  
  
"Twang...." Jeni smirked.   
  
(Authors quick note: In our HP RPG, a friend Plays prof. McGonagall...Hagrid had some big drooling monster in the castle that leapt out to attack mcG., and three students. hagrid came out, and as he struggled to drag it back into a room, you could practically hear McGonagall's last 'string' going "twang!!!!" thats where that comment came from.)  
  
now.... moving along.  
  
"As posted by Milee" Severus continued."I am currently trapped in the "Bible belt" against my will I'm a native Californian and can't stand the southern mentality and even though it's the "Bible belt" I have found it very difficult to locate christians that follow by there own beliefs."  
  
The tall potions master looked at the author. "Miss Fish?"  
  
Serena took out her soap box, which she magically pulled out of..well, you really don't want to know where she pulled it out of, but she set it on the floor and stood on top.  
  
"First of all." she began her disclaimer immediatly. "I AM A CHRISTIAN. Second, i have to agree, i lived in the Southern US for four years, and i have to agree, that, although everyone goes to church five ruddy times a week, they show absolutly no allegience to the very God they pray to and claim to serve. if they provided such service to say, the military, this country would be invaded and run by the italian mafia within a week, as none of the service men would come out until the weekend." Serena paused for a moment staring up at the celeing. "I could tell stories..." she smirked, and then looked back down at everyone. "I will however, wait and put that into a story at a later date. For now, I would simply like to say, that if you're going to claim it, do it. Pure and simple, no explaination needed, and this applys to EVERYTHING."  
  
she climbed off her soap box, and sat down, looking smug.  
  
"I want the country over run by the Irish Republican Army." Cait threw in. "that would be funny....we would all get drunk and...well, we would get drunk."  
  
"Hai." Jeni replied.  
  
cait: was there really any point to that chapter?  
  
Serena: Point? theres supposed to be a point?  
  
Jeni: this is Serena we're talking about....  
  
Serena: Point....point...surely theres one somewhere....oh yeah...to explain, politely to everyone that i know i have a gimped way of random capitals...but REALLY....is a capitalized letter really all THAT bad? Inst ti btteer tehn a bchun ov miscpelid wrods?  
  
Jeni: *shudders*  
  
Serena: I rest my case. 


	4. Mina, you asked for it

The Christian at Hogwarts  
  
Directors' cut/commentarys  
  
Authors note: It's been awhile since I've updated; and though this suits me, as it gives me time to work on other, newer, better stories, I've noticed it Irritates my Fluffy Pagan friend.  
  
(FPG: Yeah No Shite! Don't edit my words, I said Shit, Goddamn it. Finally I've pissed Tanja off enough to persuade her to write more.)  
  
Yes, you have.  
  
(FPG:Why now? And not the two months I bugged you at Sykes?)  
  
I'm feeling gracious today.  
  
(FPG: This is me, Feeling Blessed.)  
  
*stares*  
  
(FPG: it's nice to know that after all this time, I can still scare you.)  
  
Not scare...disturb...but you've always been good at that.  
  
(FPG: *bows Deeply* Thank you, Thank you...)  
  
Anyhoo, a Chick (I guess it was a Chick, Mina sounds Chickish) requested that I pick on her next. However, she gave me absolutely no information about herself, so we're going to spin the wheel of religion to decide on a religion for her.  
  
(FPG: can I spin the wheel?)  
  
I suppose.  
  
(FPG: WOOT!!! *Spins wheel* I'd like to buy a vowel, Alex.)  
  
you're Watching TV as we're spinning the wheel, aren't you?  
  
(FPG: *quickly turns off TV* Um...No, Of course not.)  
  
-the wheel slows to a stop, landing on Astrau  
  
(FPG: who the hell was that?)  
  
-It is I, the Narriator.  
  
(FPG: Not his dumb ass again?)  
  
-Yes, it is my Dumb Ass again.  
  
Schweet, Mina is Astrau.  
  
(FPG: Isn't that Odinism?)  
  
Yesh. Okay, So Dear Mina is a Servant of the Gods of Sex, Beer, and Warfare. Schweet!  
  
(FPG: Mmmm....Sex....)  
  
So, since she's odinist, I'll translate her name into runic to choose her personality.  
  
M: Becomes Mannaz: the self.  
  
I: Becomes Isa Ice, Freezing, frozen/standstill  
  
N: Becomes Nauthiz: Constraint, Pain.  
  
A: becomes Ansuz.: Signals, Loki, Randomness.  
  
So basically, Mina is one who tends to get a little conceited, though conceited is a harsh word to use. She has a standstill in her life, and feels drained, probably due to a problem going on, which is signified with Nauthiz...but Loki's watching over her, making sure she keeps things random and fun, with all the bad schtuff going on.  
  
(FPG: Tanja, you're a freak. You just translated her name. YOU FIXED THE WHEEL, GOD DAMN IT!)  
  
...um...With that, moving on!  
  
Way awesome chapter girly...OH! In future chapter, yeah I know bad English; it's 11:08 pm and i'm tried anyway, in a future have her become totally accepting for her witchy abilities AND have a surprise Parents' Day or something and have the show up at school, or better yet have her get caught reading some magic book over X-mas break at her home.  
  
Mina.  
  
Severus enters his office, Quietly followed by Jeni, Tanja, Jennifer, Cait, Brandi and Karyn. Karyn shut the door behind them, as the girls walked towards their seats.  
  
The six girls take their seats, just as Shane and Mina come Crashing through the door, Mina looked mortified at being late. Severus looked cruely down at the two, though Shane was unphased, he grinned happily at Severus and took his seat. however Mina was frozen in mid step.  
  
The girl is medium height, much like the rest of the girls, and she has short black hair, with green eyes. Mina wore a Gryffindor school uniform, and carried a 15 inch, Oak wand with a cherry handle, and a unicorn tail core. She blinked at Snape, still frozen in fear.  
  
"You, Who are you?" He asked quickly. "These six I know, for they have long tormented me. But you I have never seen before."  
  
"My name Mina, Professor." Mina quietly replied, staring up at the professor.  
  
"And why have you entered my Chambers unannounced?"  
  
"Um...because He came in?" Mina used her wand to point at Shane.  
  
"He was Invited. You, however, were not."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Excuse me?" Snape asked, standing to his feet.  
  
"If he is Invited, so am I." Mina sneered at the professor. Who gave Tanja a quick glare before turning back to Mina. The Professor stepped up to the small girl, His cold black eyes swept up the girls form, starting at her feet.  
  
"why are you here?" Severus asked.  
  
"I want to join the insanity. I want to laugh at stupid people."  
  
"Look in a Mirror." Brandi commented quietly, causing herself, Jennifer and Cait to immediately break into giggles.  
  
"I see Stupid people. And they annoy me." Shane commented. "Can I Kill Mina?" his eyes sparkled menacingly, Hopefully.  
  
Mina's eyes grew wide, and she turned to the short man, with a thick black gotee and long black hair. He was dressed from head to foot in black clothing, including a black leather trenchcoat, black leather doc martians with shining silver spikes protruding from them, black shorts, just past his knees, and a black "Punisher" Shirt.  
  
"I see no reason not to." Severus muttered, turning back towards his desk.  
  
"YUSH!" Shane Cheered, then fell serious, clearing his throat. "Allow me to take this moment to thank Satan for his inspiration for what I am about to do." Grinning widely, he retrieved two chopsticks from his cargo pockets, and lept over the desk he and the girls sat at.  
  
"AHHH!" Mina Shrieked, turning quickly. Her Robes swirled out behind her as she ran. Closer and closer to the door, almost free from the classroom, before WHAM! She hit an invisible field and smacked to the floor, her head making a sickening twack against the cold stone.  
  
"Oh dear." Snape commented, slowly putting his wand away as he sat down. "It seems someone has placed a Shielding charm on the door, sealing off the exit."  
  
The entire room erupted with laughter, Shane stopped, standing just above the fallen Mina.  
  
She opened her eyes slowly, though they shot open when she realized how close shane was. Quickly mina climbed to her feet, and fell into a defensive stance. To which shane laughed loudly at the girl.  
  
"You are kidding...Right?" Shane grinned, falling into his own martial arts stance. "Fine."  
  
Mina glared at Shane through narrowed eyes.  
  
"You Cold, evil man." She hissed.  
  
"You forgot heartless." Shane grinned.  
  
Mina threw a hard right snap kick to shanes chest, but the man ducked under her foot, grabbed her left leg, and flipped her onto her back. It was as though she was expecting, and wanting this, as her wand was out. As he threw back his head to laugh, she cast expelliarmus at Shane, sending him flying across the room, to crash on top of Snapes desk.  
  
the professor lept to his feet to evade Shane, while the rest of the room cheered.  
  
"Woot! Go Muggle!" Jeni yelled.  
  
"Go Shane!" Cait disagreed. then shrugged at Karyn, who looked at her sternly. "What? No one ever cheers for the bad guy."  
  
"Shanes a bad guy?" Jeni asked. "i thought he was comic relief?"  
  
"No, he's comic Death. Like Loki, only there was no falling from grace for him. he started out wickedly evil, and got worse from there." Tanja quipped.  
  
Shane jumped back onto his feet, and glared at the small girl.  
  
"Thats Enough, Shane." Tanja growled. the black haired man turned to face Tanja and glared at her. She was uneffected, however, and smiled sweetly at him. "You may continue tormenting her tomorrow. for the rest of our show today, Severus has requested to have a few moments to say his peace."  
  
"His peace?" Cait raised her eyes and looked at Severus. "that man has Peace?"  
  
"Inspired." Severus returned coldly. "I merely wish to comment on the lack of Literary Drive of the author. rather then persue her stories, so that we might have closure to the Christian at Hogwarts, she spends her days rambling about in that pathetic Potter RPG."  
  
"What's wrong with that?" Tanja Shrugged.  
  
"I have already stated the problem with it!" Severus snapped. "Are you so dense that you are unable to comprehende the simplest of statements?"  
  
"Woah, Tanja, he's beating you down." cait whispered.  
  
"Yeah? No shit Cait." Tanja remarked. "Of course i understand your statements. I was only trying to make a joke."  
  
"Your Jokes are like your sushi. dry and sour."  
  
"Hey, what's wrong with my sushi, bitch?" Tanja yelped, standing up.  
  
"Um, hello? I thought this chapter was about me?" Mina asked meekly.  
  
"Mina, sit down, before you get hurt." Jeni whispered, pulling the girl by her robes to get her to sit down. 


End file.
